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I can help answer these questions right here. They are very valid questions. Any normal bride will ask at least once while planning.
Every couple deserves the perfect day of celebration. They are spending all this time and energy to be able to celebrate something that they have. Companionship, love and a fairy tale.
Are you someone who doesn't like to rock the boat? Then I'm sorry to tell you but in someone's eyes you will be a bride-zilla. Not for any other reason than that they don't agree with your decision. Opinions always come out during the wedding process.
But, there is a way to avoid it. Say something like, "That is a great idea, I'm going to write that one down." Then do what you said and write it down. You don't have to like the idea, but you avoid being a Bride-zilla, and you don't cause ripples in the water.
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Sad truth is, most parents who have a child getting married, tend to bring out their opinions. In particular if they are paying for something. Being a photographer, I see this too often. Parents pay for my service, but then they want to call the shots on the photos and tell me what to do. To save the couple stress, I tackle this before it happens. In my contract I let the "payee" and the couple know that no matter who is paying, the bride is the voice that I listen to. It is their wedding, and they are the ones that will be looking back at the wedding memories for the rest of their lives.
I am nice and let the "payee" know that if they haVe an idea, I will attempt to accommodate their idea.
To get the wedding of your dreams, you need to be a filter. Allow everything to come to you, and then only note the ideas and opinions that you like. Oh, and try not to roll your eyes if you are getting frustrated.
Is someone nagging you about their idea? or, are they non stop sending you ideas? Don't fret, it happens all the time. Tackle the first question, if someone is nagging you about a single idea. Let them know that you have several idea that you are thinking about. Also that you and our s.o. (significant other) will have to agree on the idea. You can also let them know "hey, I have your idea in my notes, and it's good. I am going to consider it. I also want to make sure that it will fit with my wedding." Using the word "my" allows them the opportunity to step back off of you. It's not their wedding. They may have had one, or have an open future.
The other side. Someone is sending you non stop idea. This can get on your nerves super quick. You feel the exhaustion, but outsiders are still excited. They aren't dealing with 'all' of it, only the 'fun' stuff.
My answer for you here, let them know that you need a break from what ever they are sending you. If they are sending you several subjects, tell them you are taking a break from wedding planning. And, remember to tell them you appreciate it, but they can take a break too.
If they still won't let you be, let them know this. You have 3 ideas you like, and even thought it was a great idea, their idea didn't make the cut. ---Done.
cheers to the new bride and groom
This is the idea of getting them involved with filtering the noise from family and friends. (not getting them to choose wedding decisions. That's another blog)
Getting them to step in is hard. If you are a quiet type, your fiance is more like the loud type. You are lucky, it should be easy if you explain. If you have the strong opinion, they may be the go with the flow kind. Both my husband and I are the soft voice unless we're upset or passionate.
If you need them to step in, ask them to. Explain to them how you feel, and especially if it is their family. Sometimes choosing which battle to fight with the future-in-law family is smart.
I remember the big issue with the maid's dresses. Husband and I wanted long, the maids wanted short. I went 3 different times to hunt for gowns. Finally I had enough, I hit the point of frustration. Exhaustion. I let them get the short dresses. I went home and sobbed. The husband was very mad at this point.
My problem, he stepped in too late. The dresses were still pretty. They were non-returnable. They weren't what we wanted. Learn from me, pick your battle, or step in before it's too late.
Look it's your wedding. It doesn't matter how annoying or opinionated someone is. It doesn't matter who is paying for what. It is your wedding.
There is a time for a bride-zilla, and there is a time for the quiet type. If you don't express your decisions now, you will regret them later. You will regret them every time you look at your wedding album.
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If you are serious about the quality of your wedding photographs, send me your questions, or date. I only accept 30 weddings each year.
What makes me a different kind of wedding photographer? Let me share the intimate details of how losing my job in the middle of planning my wedding, defined me as a photographer. Focused on not just stunning images, but the experience of a lifetime for you.
You know 30 weddings a year is not many. But, that is because I give more than digital downloads. I deliver an unforgettable experience. Pick the perfect wedding photography package and experience from one of my specially designed packages.
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Crystal Horton Photography
1729 Red Clover Dr., Lebanon, Ohio 45036
937-550-3133
Captivating Wedding Photography in Dayton, Cincinnati, and Ohio Tristate